Us overachievers need to give ourselves grace! I’m especially learning to give my younger self grace. Working through some really difficult stuff I realize just how critical I am of myself. Way more than anyone else.
Yes I’m a very secure and confident woman. Most of the time. But underneath it all there’s a ton of areas of self doubt! I hold myself to a high standard but it’s hard to give myself a break. Not because of pride but because I was gifted a self awareness without a lot of the insecurities most girls in this culture grew up having. I had different struggles. And one of those was/is Grace.
Grace to be in process. Grace to not always being able to figure out a problem in life like a neat and tidy math equation.
Sometimes there’s a journey. An adventure with the Creator. Not just an answer key that unlocks the closed door you keep running into.
I give others grace (maybe not as much as I should) but myself... nope.
I looked back on my 17year old self recently with so much compassion. She was doing and coping with a traumatic situation the best she could. She felt it would be easier to take ownership of things so at least she’d have some control in the once safe world crumbling around her.
She had needs she didn’t understand and so many people scrambling to make sense of the metaphorical bomb that went off that couldn’t fully help her.
I just want to tell that younger Carissa... “guess what... it’s going to be ok... all these feelings are normal... what you think you’ve lost was so small in comparison to what life has in store. Feel those feelings. There’s grace so abundant you can’t even imagine. Just be in process. Follow the journey to healing. Take the time you need but don’t make it your fault. The minor sense of control isn’t worth the cost of emotional freedom. “
It’s over a decade too late to say those things however it’s never too late to reframe those memories and give ourselves grace.
Grace to be a child.
Grace to sometimes still feel like one and be in process.
Grace to follow and seek a journey and not always just the key.
Let's all spread a little more grace today.