top of page

We Look Just Like You But Aren't Like You....

Doesn’t everyone hike through rice paddies for fun in high school?

Here’s another book excerpt...

“What is really hard for Third Culture Kids that have grown up amidst different worlds is that frequently we look just like you. We talk just like you. And so you assume we are very much like you, where, in fact, we are not.

We think differently and make decisions differently. Sometimes we look and act very immature or clueless while the next day being praised for how mature we are for our age. We have a lot of the same struggles and also other unique ones.

For example, I never struggled with my personal self image or feeling beautiful (despite braces, glasses, being skinny as a twig, and having no style sense) because I grew up in a culture where no one looked like me. I had no one to compare myself to, and, due to the importing of Hollywood movies, I was the pinnacle of beauty in that culture. I literally had someone ask me one time what kind of whitening lotion I used.

I thought, Ummm…for real? They are really asking me what lotion I use to make my skin this white?

Yes. Yes, they were.

I think I was too shocked to say anything other than, “I don’t use any?”

Most of my peers in the U.S., however, did struggle with self image. I struggled more with my identity in the world and where home was to me because home changed so much.

Where do I belong? How do I fit in?

These are common teenage struggles even when you don’t grow up in multiple countries, but when you do, they become way more complicated to figure out.

I loved one of the survey responses I got to the question, “What do you wish your non-TCK friends/family understood about you?” The answer was, “I wish I wasn’t white but was biracial, because a lot of my personality lines up more with people of mixed race, but I’m viewed as a typical white dude.” This sentiment was repeated by a few other survey respondents. Personally, I think it brings up the fact that our brains are lazy.

Our brains take the path of least resistance. It takes a lot of brain power to go around thinking of everyone as completely different and unique from ourselves.”

Only 6 days to go to book launch!

2 views0 comments

Related Posts

See All


bottom of page