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The "I'm Proud of You" Trick

Updated: Mar 21, 2019

Today I'm proud of you for.... What would your personal self worth and value be like today if you had heard praise for something you did every single day of your life for 16 years straight. Would you be less prone to self doubt, more confident and sure of yourself? I think I would! I remember this silly little voice in my head I still battle sometimes now as an adult that would constantly be worried I wasn't pleasing my parents. Or that they disapproved. It has led me to frequently look at how others believe I should act more so than how I want to act. Which has it's pros and cons but took me until I was about 19 with my first boyfriend (who ended up my husband) where they told me out loud that it was ok if I made mistakes. I had no idea I was so bound by perfectionism.

So here's what I'm doing with my kids.

Every night. Well let's be honest it doesn't happen every night but it does happen most nights. It's usually things like I'm so proud of you today for.... listening right away when mom told you to come when we were in the store. Or I'm so proud of you for playing nicely with your sister this morning! Sometimes we get some good ones like I'm proud of you for going pee in the potty!

I love using that time to show them what I value and what touches my heart. Honestly I don't know if it's made much difference in them right now but I do believe it has more so helped me. Because each day I know I'm going to have to say something so I'm on the lookout now during the day for something I can tell them I'm proud of them for. It forces me to look at the progress and tiny baby steps they are making towards maturity vs all the things I can obviously see they are still lacking (patience, empathy, obedience etc.)

I have way higher expectations of myself and my children than I probably should and so having this "I'm proud of you" trick has become more a blessing for myself than for my kids at the moment. I start to notice all the little things they're doing well more so than the overwhelming huge list of things to still teach them and work on. It's changing my perspective even though it started out as an idea to encourage my kids. I can't wait though in a few years to see how this 30second end of the day habit could effect their self esteem. I hope you like this little bedtime idea too and would love to hear if you try implementing it if you notice a change in your kids through it at all. If you're not in it already please come join us over in The Homefront Community on Facebook for daily inspiration and tips on defending our homes from toxins to tech addiction and everything in between.

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