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Go Back To Go Forward

Sometimes before you can move forward you have to go backward.

This past summer has been a summer of transition from a season of surviving newborns to “let’s start to live life with intention”.

It is so glorious to have my body to myself after almost 6 years of it being someone else’s life line. But in this process of living life more intentionally I’m brought back to the first 17 years of my life that I lived in what seems like a whole different world from a dream long ago. In a galaxy far far away so to speak. I’ve shared lots of stories from that time with family and friends but as I took a trip down memory lane this summer after someone I knew passed away suddenly on the other side of the pacific, a whole can of forgotten life burst back into my brain and heart.

I’ve spent so much time for half a decade trying to keep little humans alive and figuring out who I was as a mom and the half decade before that figuring out who I was as an American that I didn’t visit my past experiences much.

I was focused on moving forward.

It’s hard to truly appreciate where you’ve come from when you don’t feel like it has any applicable practical value to your present season. (My Bahasa is severely lacking with no practice after 11 years) Or you’ve been trained to just “move on”. Especially if that chapter of life ended traumatically.

But there’s something beautiful about the journey. Something hard but exciting about trying to merge both pieces together.

Not keeping one part hidden because you don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable, or think you’ve had this crazy life experience, because to me it was just my normal. Just like your normal is your normal.

So as I’ve been unpacking my history from a more adult perspective. I’ve found it actually has given me clarity for the future.

Stay tuned next week for a crazy announcement. You all do realize I’m kind of crazy remember that time I had an only few week old baby and launched an online boutique a few years ago on no sleep with bestest business partner? Ya this thing is right up there crazy you all... someone stop me.

But moral of the story sometimes you have to go back, sometimes you have to return to your core, before you can embark on new adventures!

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